| (no subject) |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|12:15 pm] |
everyone i know,
goes away
in the
end. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|09:27 pm] |
thought i lost everything
now on the old dirt road to lose a whole lot more
do you need to ask, fucker? i think you can understand
you've been behind this bottle before
and under the glass.
i hear the thunder roaring by, the river of salty tears you cry... my heart is breaking down.
and i'd like to arrange to see you again
i can't go on without you.
the one who made all the mistakes
the one who took the wrong road.
the wind laughs hard outside my window and the city sky has only looks to give me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2008|04:01 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | radiohead- glass house | ] |
i had a dream about trying to kill these tiny baby mice, no bigger than a grape. they carried a disease. i tried to slam them in drawers, crush them as they climbed the walls, grind them into dust. their tiny pindot eye reflections sparkled out from the holes in the walls like i was staring into a sinister portion of space.
they are knots under muscle.
they are the bad behavior my love has become.
i dream about the ghosts of houses.
i have entered ugly times again. |
|
|
| looking at it from a different angle. |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|01:53 pm] |
get a clue, stitch it away, shut it up, conceal it. the rapists, the greedy, the needy, and their hands touching everything. they turn into frogs on the doorstep at night.
always watching, always wandering. waiting for their turn.
the house is empty and goes on for miles. outside it is dark and windy and cold. someone waits outside the window to break in and ruin everything with bloody bandages and shovels.
the clock shakes.
the music stops.
we wait to hear the footsteps fall on the creaky boards above our heads.
this house- it drives us crazy, and we are always waiting.
the clock shakes so i throw it into the wide black mouth of the doorway, the empty other room. but when i turn around it is still there trembling on the table.
i scream loud enough to make the trees dance.
she's not there she's not there she's not there. the illusions were you. you have no idea how much of your reality is really just you.
you are so powerful that you tremble in fear of your own claws. mind and body run in opposite directions for fear of what might happen if they were to coexist.
the end of something, the reign of another. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2008|08:35 pm] |
where did this summer go to?
it started up in the fields, by the forest. i listened to some rock n' roll and watched the blue sky swivel. thought about death a little,
in a quick mirage of blue stripes i thought i felt you walking near
i ran around with dreams in my head and from wishes blown out on dandelion stems to a stranger's bed it went
then, like stepping out of some perfectly designed dream
floating in those black swans, a venice queen
it went
back to the forest on a charmless day
a car crash, a funeral
and then the emergency room, the burn ward
on the porch i was shattered screaming mercy in the rain
i fell from high and got trampled in the march of pain
could not believe
that the body i have is mine
how everything changes if just given the time |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 31st, 2008|09:45 am] |
bad dreams sent their headless birds inside my fortress to tear it down. wordlessness and empty streets, smouldering thunderstorms with nothing close enough into the future to get excited about.
days go by, i make monsters.
we meet people, get excited, think our lives are one in a million.
but it was all bullshit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2008|12:35 am] |
this is a melting nightmare world.
brain is wound up inside like a terrified bird, feathers flying, screaming
ABANDON SHIP
danger roams around my cage of a body, flesh peeling away, disappearing down the drain.
i see the vultures making halos over me.
i see how ugly life can get and this ain't nothing yet.
a freak, a broken doll
all the alarm bells going off down these halls
EVACUATE, LEAVE IMMEDIATELY
but you can't, because this is you. and this is all you have.
dust will settle, bugs will crawl, wounds will fester
(and how i hope it won't be true but)
i'll wait for my love to fall
no no no
hit the brakes. (too late) raise the blinds. (they are risen) please tell me this can't all be real. black boxes. head's a box, coffin's a box, car's a box, the room's a box. charcoal. dead dreams it's all a no go no show. pall-bearers, blisters, sunlight, antibiotics, no service. hood ornaments and broken glass stabbed like teeth into that tree. you and i you and i you and i
dark inky mouths breathe in the night
lungs tight fingerprinted ribs nothing broken except your will to live
make me sleep
a velvet dark
wake me when it's safe again
watch that bomb as it plummets to your doorstep
smile as it gleams in the sunlight
smile while you can before it all goes to shit, i guess. |
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| i can't say i didn't see it coming |
[Jun. 14th, 2008|06:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | new york | ] |
| [ | music |
| | thunder and jazz music | ] |
i'm scared.
my heart is trembling inside my chest like a little kitten in a paper bag
...and here comes the heavy, shark-sleek car.
all my little danger-sensitive hairs are standing up, and my ancestor the leopard flashes under my skin
maybe you can fight this, she growls in a drowned-out-jazz, variegated, thundersong way
i sense her eternity somewhere far away from me, her gleaming eternity, something i ache to be.
well, it's just a little while until i'm eye to eye with those headlights now
and i fear that watered down leopard blood will be all over the pavement soon
and i guess cats have nine lives
but i don't know how many times i can take this. |
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| because you're from another star |
[Apr. 27th, 2008|11:00 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | three dog night- mama told me not to come | ] |
about reincarnation, he said,
aliens choose to be reborn on planet earth because it's the quickest route to getting to the end of it all, the refining and perfection of the soul. where you want to go in the end, of sorts. he said a life on earth is the toughest kind. and on top of that, these extraterrestrial spirits never quite fit in.
he said, i think you're one of them.
if i had a crazy idea to believe- like there was some kind of system behind it all, this would probably be it. even just for comfort sake, maybe something like this would save me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|11:03 am] |
new screen name, it is
unicornskeletons
will be using that from now on. |
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| i was a unicorn |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|11:20 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my rooooom | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | dazed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | some birdies outside in the trees | ] |
happy halloween everybody.
and no, it's not late. halloween's not over until i say it is dammit.
p.s.- and also- this.  |
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|
| update! |
[Aug. 8th, 2007|04:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the cicadas outside | ] |
I'M GOING TO PRAGUE NEXT WEEK TO SHOOT A PERFUME COMMERCIAL!
*high-pitched girly scream*
and also, i now have an agency in new york called MUSE.
www.musenyc.com
this is all so very exciting. i've always wanted to see prague. |
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| i love this boy |
[Jul. 16th, 2007|04:15 pm] |
kj says: (4:13:35 pm) typhoon came next day i came back to japan
victoria says: (4:13:43 pm) oh no
victoria says: (4:13:53 pm) you are making bad things happen to japan
victoria says: (4:13:57 pm) it does not want you there
kj says: (4:14:33 pm) i have big bad power.
kj says: (4:14:59 pm) i am the dark side of force. |
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| this is my cocoon. |
[Apr. 22nd, 2007|05:39 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  rushed | ] |
i want to stay here in my little nest of bones and vinyl hair forever
paper thin skin very pale and possibly freckled, bones protruding, sunshine leaking through the ceiling. glitter, jewels, dust, pills pills pills. (a faint memory of perfume, cigarettes, glass pipes, sharp hair and spiraling eyes.) a cardinal's song, moths drunk on the chlorine, butterflies swarming on animal shit, aquamarine warped drains watching you hungrily. cicadas, lambs, pearls, and tea. a trembling luna moth in your hand, don't die. don't die.
childhood, childhood,
childhood.
cracked paint on your porch and the thunderstorm's strong breath making the beams of your house shiver. candles, tiny flames gently flickering, colored wax streaming down onto jewelry in a pleasing way. music boxes, rainy days, unicorns. mirrors demons monsters old furniture cold wooden floors. the wind in our hair as we ran on the cool lawn, broken glass, lace curtains, hiding places. whole secret worlds forgotten. lisa frank, above-ground pools, identical twins, objects underwater. a bike ride in the rain, crackling pavement, sugar water.
the desire to be alone while you deconstruct versus deconstructing with people who may own some mysterious pieces long lost. possessed by the hungry desire to obtain perfection we smashed the looking-glass from whence we came, and now we want nothing more than to return to wonderland. |
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| oh my god. |
[Dec. 3rd, 2006|05:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pure fantastic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | gold lion- yeah yeah yeahs | ] |
the good times are definitely rolling. i can't believe this even happened. i can't believe how lucky i am.
i was scouted by two modelling agencies today. TWO. TWOOOOOOOOO.
storm and select. select just called me and told me i have an appointment with them monday next week. storm thought i was already a model, and they told me that they would definitely call me soon. storm is kate moss's agency.
ooooooooooh la la! i thought this stuff only happened in daydreams. everything is happening at once. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 16th, 2006|04:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | red hot chili peppers- by the way | ] |
i have great news (to those who haven't heard)
i've been accepted to become a model at models 1. i go for the test photos within the next three weeks.
i feel like i'm dreaming. this is so amazing. |
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| "love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" |
[Oct. 15th, 2006|07:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bliss | ] |
| [ | music |
| | smashing pumpkids- ava adore | ] |
i'm in love i'm in love i'm in love i am loved i am loved i am loved
and this feels like some kind of relentlessly gorgeous world, sealed beneath the warmth of a grey woolen sky and flaming matchstick autumn trees. i feel eternal, i feel connected to some kind of neverending rush. i have ached for this feeling and now i'm saturated with it.
in our time together my heart feels the glowing warmth of shot of vodka. i am swirling in your arms. i am so intoxicated by you. this is what i have always wanted, and we are only just beginning.
there are a million things i could say, but no words or phrases come close to wrapping themselves around how beautiful this feels. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2006|08:30 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | thankful but worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the caesars- jerk it out | ] |
life is beautiful and i wish i could stop time. i've met the most amazing people. i've learned how to love. i'm so happy here.
six more weeks isn't enough. |
|
|
| does anyone breathe to keep themselves alive anymore? |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|12:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jet- lazy gun | ] |
so it's like christmas eve and whatever
and what i really want in the world is just a little sense of security. someone or someplace i could go to and feel like i was supposed to be no where else. no keep your fucking mouth shut so you don't ruin the moment. no i've gotta pin you down as something so i can wrap my brain around you so i'm gonna make you into this. bullshit.
please stop making me more or less than i am. please stop making a big deal of everything. stop adding me as a friend because you think my picture is hot. please stop acting like you're just the only one in the world and it's your right to employ everyone else as your audience.
just fucking come together. we're all people. fucking make something of yourself.
i'm sick of the best artists these days being the ones with the least emotional content in their work. it's all bland and mundane and bite-size. like little dolled-up circus ponies, choreography, pretty girls with scary looks- but they won't hurt you.
please don't tell me we've tamed every wild animal in the human brain. please don't tell me i'm going to have to live in this world where everything had been taken out of context and captured and made meaningless insticts removed, de-clawed. please tell me some of us are still willing to fight and feel real emotions just as they are and not blow everything out of proportion because we're bloodthristy for own own drama.
the best nights of my life have been the ones where we just live, and most of the time we never say another word about it.
p.s.- a mostly off-topic vent: i'm sick of hearing shit about how straight edge/anti-drug people are the smartest, most responsible people. i'm sick of hearing about how people who drink and smoke and do drugs are "BAD PEOPLE", because they're not. they're simply people who DRINK and SMOKE, and do DRUGS. there IS such a thing as responsible drug use, and people who are violently against drugs people who probably wouldn't be responsible with substances themselves. and don't kick a fuss and be stupid, i'm not saying that drugs addicts are prophets and i'm not saying that everyone can use drugs without fucking themselves up.
i'm saying that i'm tired of hearing that a drug-free existence is a superior existence, like it's the only way to live. these days it's like some kind of genocide.
stuff your fucking opinions. fuck off with your holy right and wrong. |
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